Helping me hurt (Rio)

[Laura Richardson]

Laura walked out of assembly confused. Not because of what anyone had said so much, as what people hadn’t said. She wondered if it would be rude to follow Rio and decided it wouldn’t be, she needed to ask him questions… and besides, no one else was going the way he was. That made it safe.

A little way down the corridor, Laura almost jogging to keep up, she realised he most likely hadn’t seen her, or at least he wasn’t talking to her if he had. Casting around for something to do, Laura noticed his sleeves were easily grabbable without actually touching him, which was good. Tugging on Rio’s sleeve, Laura hoped he’d stop or at least slow down a little bit. They didn’t all have legs like a giraffe bonded to a man.

As he stopped, Laura wondered if she should have thought about her questions before hand. Oh well, too late to turn back. “Um…” Well, that was a great start wasn’t it? And she was mumbling at her toes. Raising her eyes to somewhere in the vicinity of his chest, she started to phrase her question. “Um… I mean… you… in there, you…” taking a deep breath and giving herself a stern command to get her act together sharpish. “Why didn’t you say things when I said things?” Great, now you sound like a four year old. “I mean…. If I do that I get told off…” Not helping. Not helping at all.

Casting around for another subject before Rio laughed in her face, Laura squirmed slightly and decided to return to the matter in hand. “So… um… will you? Help me, I mean?” She mumbled at the floor, completely oblivious to any teachers, other students or cameras that might be around. All she wanted was to get better. She didn’t want to hurt people. Laura’s eyes flicked up to Rio’s face and back to a mid point on his chest that was roughly above eye level. Please say yes…

[Riordan Shonski]

Rio felt the tugging on his sleeve and whipped around, ready to face the other student, but he was surprised to see Laura stood there, gazing uncomfortably at his chest. Well, well. Something to improve his day. "No, Laura," he replied, his tone condescending. "I didn't say things when you said things. In general, it's best not to ask someone to hurt you in front of a bunch of adults who are there to stop precisely that. You don't fucking do it: it gets you into trouble, it gets me into trouble, and the shrinks have to write out notes and shit: everybody loses. Don't do it. That's why I ignored you. Next time you ask me, do it in private, or we both risk getting in shit. Don't you know anything about social etiquette?" Turning, he began to walk away, beckoning her to follow with two quick flicks of his fingers.

Well, this would probably make the rest of the day marginally more bearable. For some reason, the day had been spent in a kind of passive rage: little things irritated the hell out of him, things that would normally make him laugh. Well, it was just one of those days. Walking into an empty dorm room, he held the door open for Laura and closed it behind her, leaning against the wall and surveying her impassively. He wasn't in the mood to waste time: maybe he'd be able to knock some sense into her, while he was at it. He stood in silence, watching his newest victim expressionlessly. She could start it off: he'd never done this before, and apparently she made a habit of it. Finally, he spoke. "What do you want me to do, in particular? And where? Give me details."

[Laura Richardson]

Laura hated the way Rio was talking to her. She supposed there were some things you really should know, but… “I didn’t say you were going to hurt me…” Laura mumbled at Rio’s toes. Her other psychiatrist psychologist person had told her you could only learn some things by being ‘socialized’ whatever that meant, and talking to other people. But other people just got annoyed or laughed at her a lot… she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to learn from that.

She’d been prepared to go back to her dorm and draw until the world began to make some kind of sense or until it was time for lunch, whichever came first, but Rio seemed to want her to follow him. She traipsed after him miserably, dragging her feet. She didn’t want him to… all of a sudden her plan began to look like a very bad idea and she began to feel sick. If she’d been allowed to turn and run the other way, she would have done. Rio scared her.

Entering the room she could feel him looking at her, and she wriggled uncomfortably. Her eyes were firmly fixed on her shoes and the fingers of one hand were in her mouth, while the other wound itself into the hem of her t shirt. All her clothes had been bought by her foster mother, who thought Laura was ‘cute’ and as a result the t shirt was pink. It featured a kitten. Laura’s mind was reeling. What did she want him to do? Nothing, preferably. Maybe leave her alone… “You’re cross with me…” She mumbled. “I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to… um. I don’t know. I… whatever you want.” She was a little stumped. Usually she just annoyed people and then they hurt her and then she was alright for a bit. Until she did it again.

She was pretty sure nothing of the sort was about to happen here. “People normally just… do.” She said, finally, still talking to her feet. He was talking as if she liked this. And Laura knew that wasn’t true. If she had her way she’d never ever get hurt at all, but sometimes the things you needed weren’t pleasant. Like broccoli.

[Riordan Shonski]

Rio rolled his eyes. "They can guess that. They've got it written in your files that you hurt yourself, so they'll guess. Some people are capable of putting two and two together, you know," he snapped her her, glaring. Right, now he was telling a little girl not to ask him to hurt her in front of the shrinks. This had been an interesting start to the day. Rio sighed, and his expression softened slightly. "Yeah, I'm cross with you. Just... don't do it again, OK?"

People normally just do? Thanks, love, that's useful. Sighing, he took a few steps forwards and looked down at her, head tilted to one side. To tell the truth, this little girl fascinated him. He considered her, thinking about what conditions she had. Almost certainly DPD, and while masochism was a likely contender, she seemed reluctant for him to actually do what she was asking, something that confused him a little. Not self-defeating, then... quite possibly delusional, and post-traumatic stress was likely as well.

Taking another step forwards so he stood right over her, Rio looked down at the tiny girl as he wondered what to do with her now. Just hitting her seemed... well, actually. He couldn't see anything wrong with it. Pulling back a hand, he punched her hard in the stomach. Nowhere that would be visibly bruised, he reminded himself. Face, neck, hands, legs... "Like that?" he asked her, dropping his hand to his side once again, and hoping she wouldn't cry. Really, though, if you were going to ask a strange guy to hurt you, you shouldn't cry. It was just polite. She didn't seem the type to cry, somehow, but you could never tell, especially not with these ones.

[Laura Richardson]

Laura listened to what Rio was telling her, nodding. She wondered if he thought that she was stupid. Laura wouldn’t have blamed him, she thought she was stupid sometimes. Now was one of those times. Her stomach seemed to shrivel as he agreed that he was cross with her. “Ok.” She whispered to her toes, not entirely sure he’d heard. Maybe he didn’t care. But he probably did, and she didn’t want to get him in trouble if he was going to help her. Or at all, she added hastily.

Feeling him get closer, Laura fought a losing battle to stop her body tensing in anticipation. It would hurt more if she did and that wasn’t what she wanted. Although… she hesitated. If it did hurt more would it help more? She needed to write a letter to her uncle. Or phone him somehow. She needed to ask him about this. It was important. She wondered if she could find her uncle’s number on the internet… and maybe if she hid in the reception office really early in the morning she could phone when the reception people weren’t there…

Even closer… Laura took some deep breaths. She hated this part. The pain she could deal with. The waiting was infinitely harder. The punch knocked her back and she allowed herself a breath of time to recover before picking herself up and walking back to where she’d been. Ouch. She nodded definitely and curled her hands, pulling her jumper sleeves down over her hands and holding them there. This was good. This hurt. But it was good. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, getting rid of the urge to curl up in a ball and cry. No. It wasn’t allowed. And she’d asked for this, she deserved it. Even more now she almost got Rio in trouble. She stood perfectly still, head bowed and wondered if there was a point she should ask him to stop. She didn’t know. Another thing to put in her letter.

[Riordan Shonski]

She stood there, absolutely silent, waiting for the next blow, and he had to admit, he admired her courage. Most people would be crying by now, at least. Slamming his hand into her shoulder, just below the collarbone, he wondered how many times she'd had to have this done before. No, wait - he corrected himself. How many times she'd had this done. She didn't have to. There was no such thing as evil, Rio knew, just people that society considered bad, things that were seen as immoral, all different shades of grey. It occurred to him that having this internal debate while beating the shit out of a little girl was... well, ironic.

He whacked his fist into her side quickly after, wondering what would happen if he got caught. Isolation, most likely. And unfortunately, there wasn't anyone banging wildly on the door to get to her that he could blame it on, which would have been a plus. Ah, well. She wouldn't tell, and he wasn't about to, so if someone opened the door, they could just pretend that they'd been... well, shagging was ruled out, seeing as a) she looked about fourteen and b) it was against the rules anyway. Having a friendly chat was the most likely, since nothing could be proved. Anyway, isolation didn't bother him too much, he was wanting a break from his roommate already. The arrogant bastard was grating away his nerves faster than most people managed to. However, due to the fact most people didn't manage to, though, Reuben was only having a tiny effect which, Rio reflected, was good for him.

Flexing his first, he looked down at Laura, wondered if she'd had enough yet. Probably not; he'd probably have to knock her unconscious before she'd had enough, and he wasn't about to do that.

[Laura Richardson]

Years and years of practicing not crying were coming into play. Instead, Laura thought about other things, all the while keeping a close eye on where Rio’s hands were. She hadn’t thought she could find anyone willing to help. But was seriously glad Rio didn’t mind. She should do something… draw something maybe, to say thank you and sorry for being silly. She hadn’t meant to ask in front of people who might not like it… while she doubted Doctor Hudson was about to object – he didn’t seem comfortable with hurting her himself. Maybe it would make him happier somebody else was doing it for him – she didn’t know what the lady Doctor Hudson and that man would think. Maybe they wouldn’t be happy. Maybe Rio didn’t know about Doctor Hud- Ow.

The realisation of pain was dull this time, in addition to what she already had. It flared only momentarily before joining the throbbing dull ache. Ow. Having been knocked sideways, she breathed out, almost a sigh really. She didn’t mind so much… not really. She’d minded in the beginning, but then she’d minded brushing her teeth and not walking around too much in the daytime and she got used to both of those. This was the same only… more painful. But better for her in the long run. Picking herself up again, she barely winced and returned to where she would have been standing if she was bigger, or weighed more.

She watched Rio consider and wondered if she should says anything. But if she did, she was worried she might cry, or something silly would hop out, so she clenched her jaw a little more. Laura wondered how long it would be before Rio got bored and went away, leaving her to lick her wounds. Proverbially, of course She’d found licking didn’t do much good. But then neither did kicking up a fuss. Best thing was to be as still and quiet as possible. Then people didn’t hear and you weren’t as interesting as someone who screamed and waved their arms around.

[Riordan Shonski]

She was staying quiet now. Rio suddenly realized how long she must have been doing this for. She was going about it like a chore, with a sort of resigned attitude. Something she didn't like, but had to be done. Something she had to do because she'd been told she had to, and nothing more. He flexed his hand again, stopped hitting her for a moment and looked at her, suddenly fascinated by more than the pain. "Laura... how long have you been getting people to do this to you?" he asked her mildly, taking a step back and examining her face.

There were scars, visible on her upper arms, some new and some older, almost faded, nearly impossible to see in the dark room. Since she was young, then. Who did it to her? Her uncle, he knew that much. But was it just him, or were there other people? Other relatives, maybe? Perhaps. He could find out, easily. He stared at her, wondering how she'd gone through all that without going mad. Except, of course, she had. She in was in a mental hospital, after all. But still, she wasn't having panic attacks or anything. Or maybe she did. Maybe if he did this... Reaching out, he laid a hand on her cheek and tilted her head up, looking into her eyes, a frown creasing his forehead. He knew she didn't like people touching her, except to hurt her. Maybe it would trigger a reaction that would give him more of a clue about her. Or maybe she'd just get cried on and screamed at. Either way, it could be interesting.

"Laura... why do you have to be hurt to be helped? What's helpful about it?" He asked her, still holding her face in one hand, peering curiously into her eyes.