'the nothing i've become [Open]

[Jessica Air]

Jess sprinted out of the ballet studio, leaving behind a smashed mirror, an angry teacher, blood - from her fists connecting with the smashed mirror, quite hard - and a few amused students. 'Well, fuck them.' She knew that security would probably be after her; her hands and wrists were bleeding, quite dramatically, and that was something the staff wouldn't want. She hadn't meant to smash the stupid mirror, though. She'd just...hit it. It was her teachers fault, for annoying her, and the other students fault, for laughing, and her parents fault for sending her to this damn place in the first place.

After a good few minutes of running, she abruptly stopped, curling up on the floor and resting her head in her hands. She lent back against the brick wall - she was just outside the school building, looking over the stream - and started to cry. Her stupid dance teacher with her stupid rules. Apparently, you had to eat to be allowed to dance. Which she hadn't done; but she'd only skipped one little meal. Lunch wasn't that important, anyway, was it? But she'd hidden until the lunch period was over, and then had gone to dance, only to be told that she wasn't allowed to exercise unless she ate. Jess slammed her fist against the brick wall, then swore loudly as she noticed the blood for the first time. It was trickling through her clenched fist down her wrist; great. She dropped her hands to her sides so she wouldn't have to look at the blood, hoping she wouldn't faint or throw up.

How long until security came and dragged her to medical, before making her eat and possibly putting her in isolation? She guessed maybe ten, twenty minutes, although she half-suspected her teacher would hunt her down long before that. That woman was scary. Jess remembered what had happened - the whole, painful incident - and cringed at the memory. That was something to repress, for sure. How could she have been so stupid? Telling a teacher to go and fuck herself? She'd be in trouble for that one.

As she remembered Morph's stupid, smug smirk, her fists tightened again and she punched the hard floor, leaving a few small spots of blood. If he hadn't been laughing - openly laughing - she wouldn't have punched the mirror; it was his damn reflection that had done it. Jess felt sick, worried about the staff that were sure to find her. More worried about the blood that had actually formed a small puddle. And she was cold. The realization that she was in the middle of the courtyard, wearing nothing more than a leotard and leg warmers suddenly hit her, and she almost laughed. Wrapped her arms back around her legs, she lent against the wall, trying her best not to punch things again. She'd never been so damn angry before, that she could remember. It wasn't fun. Her arms were shaking; maybe from the cold, or maybe from being pissed-off. Slowly, she raised her head, before slamming it back against the wall, hard enough to make her ears ring.

Outfit

[Riordan Shonski]

Rio covered a yawn with his hands as he sauntered into the courtyard, looking for something to do. His acting teacher had called in sick, and although they had a sub, he'd decided to let Chanterelle deal with him on her own. Rio planned to enjoy the sunshine while it lasted. Glancing over to see one of the cameras pointing his way, he gave it a jaunty wave and dropped down on one of the benches, lying on his back and staring into the bright sky. It was unusually warm for September in North Dakota, and he planned to enjoy it as much as he could while it lasted.

Tilting his head to one side to avoid staring straight into the sun, he blinked a few times, light searing his retinas. Was that...? He sat bolt upright, a a grin splitting his face. Jessica Air was sat down by the wall, blood pouring from her hands. She appeared to be crying, and hitting her head against the wall. Well, well. An ideal state. Getting up, he sauntered over to her, leaning against the wall so his shadow fell across her. "Hey there, Jessie. How're you doing?" He tucked his hands into his pocket and stood over her, looking down at her with a predatory smirk.

She'd probably have a panic attack at his appearance. For all she knew, he'd told Morph that she'd slept with him... which reminded him. Was he going to? Quite possibly, but he'd like to do it in front of her, just to see her expression. It would probably be hilarious. He wondered absently if Morph would miraculously appear now, but probably not. If he wasn't in class, he was most likely off banging someone in a cupboard, which seemed to Rio to be a very sensible thing to be doing.

[morpheusbrown]

Morph had followed Jess out of the class in the chaos that followed the mirror-punching incident. Which he may have had something to do with. He smirked to himself. Whoopsie. Although the look on her face right before she’d punched the mirror had been absolutely priceless. He’d decided that following her and preying on her rage – laughable. She called that rage? Holy shit. That was pathetic. – and possibly make her cry. He’d made Jo, sorry Doctor Hudson, cry out of pure anger the other day. He could make Jessiekins cry as well.

Seeing Rio there, he nodded to him, lingering in the shadows for a minute. If Jessiekins saw him, it wouldn’t exactly matter, but it would be better if he could make her jump. He wanted to see her face. Oooh, head banging. Poor little Jessiekins was having a little emotional trouble. What he wouldn’t give right now for a bar of chocolate… at the moment she looked just about desperate enough to eat it. And then hate herself for it. He’d love that. Listening to Rio, he realised he had an idea how to make this a perfect double act. Fixing his own predatory smirk in place, he almost snorted. Rio was a good actor. Showtime.

“Yeah, Jessiekins.” He stepped out of his place in the shadows. “How’re you? You don’t look happy. Something getting you down?” Now she’d feel surrounded. Morph folded his arms over his chest. Hard as it was to assert your masculinity in tights, he was thankful he’d worn tracksuit trousers to rehearse. Not that he couldn’t be masculine in tights, but something told him it would be more difficult to make a certain someone feel as if her world was about to implode. And with a certain fellow sadist here…. Morph was all set to enjoy every second of this.

[Jessica Air]

Hitting your head against the wall was a strangely calming feeling, she discovered. It was as though all her anger just...disappeared. It left behind misery instead, but that was infinitely preferable. Making her rage turn to self destruction instead of humiliating herself in class. It was a better way to deal with it, she thought, the throbbing in her hands getting slightly worse. As she forced herself to look down at them, she realised that there were actually shards of broken glass, penetrating the skin. Oh, crap. Jess closed her eyes and pulled out a small piece from the palm of her right hand, wincing as she did so. 'This may be the grossest thing I've ever done...'

Deciding to give up on the glass-removing for now, she wiped her eyes, realizing too late that the blood from her fingers was now smeared on her cheeks, and intermingling with her tears as they continued to drip down her face. Great. And she didn't even have any clothes to rub them off with... Ah, well. Jess didn't care how freaky she looked. It might scare people away, which was always good. She was beginning to get the horrible feeling of being slightly calmer, and not knowing exactly what she should be doing. Should she just go back to class? No, she couldn't. Aside from the angry teacher, she didn't feel like seeing any of her fellow dancers. Well, she didn't want to see Morph, Layla or Yvonne. Alex would be okay, she decided. Mainly because he didn't talk much.

Jess guessed that she could always go back to her room and hide there for a while, but Yvonne might come back... More tears spurted down her cheeks and she decided to stay where she was. But what happened when people started coming back from classes? As a shadow fell over her, she shrieked, looking up from her hands and tensing as she saw Rio. This wasn't a good day.

At his words, she tightened her fists again, trying her best not to slam them down onto the concrete beneath her. " Go fuck yourself, " she hissed. Had he told Morph? That'd just give Morph more reasons to be a bastard... If he had, had Morph told Rio she couldn't read? Jess flicked through all the things she didn't want either of them to know. There was a scary number. Just as she closed her eyes, theorising that if she couldn't see Rio, he'd disappear, or at least get bored, she heard another voice from the right of her and twisted her body abruptly, almost fainting as her eyes connected with Morph's. For a bizarre, irrational moment, she thought that she'd conjured him by thinking about him, before realizing that he could have just followed her from class. Why the fuck would he have done that?

Jess stayed where she was, curled up on the floor, her left hand still clutching a piece of glass that she was squeezing. Oops. Well, what was another cut with all the others? She debated getting up and running between the two, but wasn't sure they'd let her past. And then they'd see her legs... There was no way she was moving. Instead, she pushed further back into the wall, hoping that she'd just slip right through. Deciding to just ignore Morph, she closed her eyes, trying her hardest not to punch the floor again. That'd just make them laugh at her...

[Riordan Shonski]

Rio raised his eyebrows. "Oh, that's not very nice, Jessie. You want to try being nicer to people. But... not too nice, as I've told you before," he was sure she didn't need reminding of their little encounter, but it would probably be fun to see her flinch. Crouching down beside her, he glanced her over. She was practically naked, probably not the state she wanted to be caught in right now, not by someone like him. Her hands were streaming with blood, and he wondered how she'd done it. Had she finally snapped, or was this an accident? Touching her wrist gently, he asked her, "Did you do that to yourself? Woah, Jessie, I never had you marked down as a self-harmer. I thought you were too much of a wuss for that."

He straightened when Morph appeared, and gave the other boy a lopsided smile. Well, well - dream come true. Thinking makes it so, he'd read that somewhere. It was probably bullshit, but in situations like this, it was nice to think this had happened because he wanted it to. Actually, scratch that- it was always nice to think things happened because he wanted them to. Tucking his hand back in his pocket, he resumed his position leaning against the wall and looking down at the tiny girl in between them, wondering - hoping that she'd speak. Maybe she'd bring up their previous meeting, assuming he'd already told Morph. Then he couldn't be blamed for it, which was always nice. Maybe he'd be able to trick her into it. It wouldn't be too hard, after all, with the right words. She'd blurt it out. The idea made him smile, and he glanced up at Morph again, wondering if Morph was enjoying himself as much as Rio was. They hadn't even got started yet, either.

[morpheusbrown]

Morph smirked down at the girl on the ground. It got better and better. “A little exercise wouldn’t hurt you, Jessiekins.” He turned to Rio. “She is too much of a wuss, aren’t you sweetie? She punched a mirror. I mean, I know you aren’t exactly stunning or anything but don’t you think you should I dunno…” Morph waved his hands around vaguely, “Exercise or something.”

He crouched on the other side of Jess and grinned at Rio. Watching the distraught girl on the ground, he hoped Rio wasn’t about to bust them or get a conscience. This was simply too delicious to miss. He waited for her to say something, wondering if putting his arm around her twig thin shoulders would be too much. Probably. Instead he leaned close to her ear. “You don’t have to stay the way you are.” He whispered, grinning. It wasn’t as if she’d see. He glanced at Rio. With two of them there, they could… the very thought was fantastic.

He sat back on his heels, waiting for Jessiekin’s reaction. He had no idea how she’d react, after all, he spent a lot of time being outwardly horrible to her. Getting under people’s skin was more Rio’s forte. Morph had never quite seen the point, although he enjoyed the way Rio’s victims hurt more deeply. It was easy to admire his expertise. Morph wouldn’t mind developing some kind of skills like that himself, if only for the really good ones. The ones who were so hungry for someone to love them that they’d do anything. So much pain… he always wished he had the patience for a project. Rio on the other hand had an elegance… a certain artistic way of hurting people the Morph lacked. He wouldn’t mind gaining a little of that ability and making it his own. He was very good at making things his own.

[Jessica Air]

Jessica punched the floor with as much force as she could muster, shrieking wordlessly at Rio. If she had been less certain he'd cause her a lot of pain, she'd have punched him instead of the hard floor. Instead, she glared at him, clamping her mouth shut. That bastard. She was still pissed-off that he'd lied to her about his name before they'd had sex; she probably would have slept with him anyway, even if he was friends with Morph. Well. She would have considered it, at least. As she remembered what had happened after - with the humiliation and the wanting to die - she blushed deeply. She knew that she was unhealthily overweight, but did he have to go rubbing it in? It wasn't like she did it on purpose.

When Morph spoke, she whimpered, burying her head into her knees and wiped her tears away subtly. " I'm not a wuss, " she mumbled into her legs. She wasn't. True, the slashing of wrists hadn't been on purpose - it had been from her pounding on the mirror, repeatedly. But if she wanted to, she would self-harm! She'd done it before. True, it was more a suicide attempt than a random attempt at cutting herself, but that was even less wimpy than cutting. Jess squeezed her eyes shut again, hoping that if she couldn't see Morph and Rio, they'd vanish. Or spontaneously combust, at the very least.

There was a sudden voice in her ear and she jumped, whipping her head up and flailing wildly in the general direction of Morph. " Fuck OFF! " She continued to hit at out, more at the world then at anyone in particular. " Just go away. " Jess was openly crying now, her voice rising to a near-hysterical pitch. She was in control of herself enough that she knew that she was embarrassing herself, but made no effort to stop. Who knew, maybe she'd hit one of them and knock them unconscious or something. That'd be nice... As she aimed a punch blindly at Morph's stomach, he grabbed her by the forearms, effectively stopping her from defending herself. At that, she froze, her eyes darting between him and Rio. Crap didn't seem like a strong enough word to sum up her situation, really.

[Riordan Shonski]

Rio looked down at Jess contemptuously. There was something so utterly, completely pathetic about her, it revolted him. He wondered what would have happened if her parents hadn't treated her so well. Maybe she'd have turned out a normal, albeit incredibly thick, human being, without all the airs and graces that she seemed to feel she deserved. After a few moments of standing over her, he finally dropped down onto his haunches, crouched beside her, one knee on the ground, ready to jump up again if need be. He gave Morph a faint smile as he spoke, but didn't add anything. He'd find a good moment to join the conversation later on.

Her voice was nearing hysteria pitch when Morph grabbed her. Rio hadn't moved. Smiling, he sat himself down beside her and wrapped an arm around her skinny shoulders, leaning back against the wall and murmuring in her ear, "Sweetie, you've got one hell of a lot of suppressed anger. Why don't you calm down? You were so much nicer before..." his voice trailed off, and he left the sentence hanging in the air, wondering if she'd snap and admit it. Or at least, say something that would cause Morph to guess. It was always fun, getting people to admit things they didn't want to. Then came the self-hating (something he had a feeling Jess already had covered) and the regret, which was nice.

He glanced over at Morph to see how he was taking this. Hopefully, he wasn't about to change his mind and leave; Rio thought it very unlikely, from what he'd seen of the other boy. Hell, unlikely wasn't the word. Near-impossible was much more plausible, but Rio wasn't going to be proved wrong. It was always best to leave conclusions ambiguous, or you could be proven wrong, something Rio hated.

[morpheusbrown]

Morph held on to the struggling girl, making shhing sounds. Normally they would be comforting, but now they seemed sinister. Morph smirked to himself. Sinister was the right word for him, or so he hoped. “I didn’t mean anything by it, sweetie. Just a suggestion…” He glanced at Rio then back to Jessiekins. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew what Rio was talking about, but he wasn’t sure. That wasn’t stopping him from sticking in his oar, though.

“I’d have to agree, Jessiekins… you were so much nicer.” He moulded a concerned look on his face and hoped he looked convincing. Examining her fist he pursed his lips. That had to hurt, what with all the things she’d been hitting recently. He looked up, his expression wicked. “Want me to kiss it better?” He wanted to know how long he could drag this out before security came to drag them out. It wasn’t as if security were so inept that they didn’t think he, Rio and a fragile anorexic girl were a bad combination. Still watching her with a carefully concerned look, he could feel the blood coursing through her veins, her pulse rapid. Angry or scared? Knowing Jessiekins it was most likely anger. She didn’t have the sense to be afraid of two sadists who were essentially holding her hostage. It reminded him of something his mother used to say when he did anything she considered particularly dense. ‘Not the sense you were born with…’ Jessiekins had apparently been born without sense. That and intelligence.

“Why are you so frustrated, Jessiekins?” His voice was musing, as if actually trying to help her as opposed to uncovering her darkest secret to Rio. At least, that was what he assumed. “Is it because you can’t read, honey? It must be very hard for you….” Morph wanted to see what Rio did with the fallout of that

[Jessica Air]

Jess pulled away from Rio, before realizing that that meant she was closer to Morph. Instead, she stayed frozen in between the two boys, hoping that if she stayed still and quiet for long enough, they'd leave her alone. Maybe. Biting her lip to keep it shut, she made a note to find out how many calories adrenaline burnt, so she could deduct it from her food-intake count. Because she hadn't eaten lunch, it was lower than usual (she'd had toast, three hundred calories), although they'd probably force her to eat more later on. Still, she'd done well, so far. Not as well as she'd like - which would be minus calories - but better than usual.

Suppressed anger? She didn't have any suppressed anger! Jess turned her head sharply, almost hissing at Rio. " Shut up, now. " It was incredibly tempting to just bite him... No, there were probably calories in that. Instead, she rested her head back against the wall, pretending that she was perfectly content. She focused on the gnawing pain in her stomach instead of the boys, enjoying the feeling. That meant she'd done well, and not eaten. She ignored Morph, glaring at him instead, until his 'want me to kiss it better?' At that, she kicked out, pulling away back in the direction of Rio, yanking her arms away with all her force. Which didn't amount to much, apparently, as her arms still remained trapped.

Wriggling her wrists, she watched Morph with contempt, her plan of ignoring them both having gone to hell. Her back was half-turned away from Rio, as much as his arm would allow. Of the two, he was her lesser concern. Yeah, she'd fucked him, but he was dropping hints about that everywhere, anyway. She just needed to somehow stop Morph mentioning the other thing that she didn't particularly want people to know and- no. No, no, no. Jess stared at him, not moving for a second, before shrieking with rage and biting at the hand holding her wrists. " I can read! I can! Shut up! "

[Riordan Shonski]

Rio froze. he couldn't help himself. A delighted grin spread across his face as he looked between Jess and Morph, almost certain they were playing a trick on him. Except Jessiekins was too thick for that sort of subtlety, and Morph was on his side. For now. Tilting his head at Jess, he examined her carefully. Yep, he could definitely believe it. Getting his features under control; the grin disappeared as quickly as it had come, he purred, "Well, that explains a lot. Shame, though. I generally consider illiterates below my usual standards, but hey. Too late to worry about that now," he was still struggling to get his smile under control.

Her reaction confirmed it. She shrieked, went for Morph, and Rio yanked her back easily, pulling her close to him. Her shoulders were so fragile against his body, so delicate... he wondered what would happen if she started to squeeze. Would he be able to crush her torso, or weren't her bones brittle enough for that yet? Maybe she'd have a stronger body than he had first thought, but he doubted it. His arm tensed for a moment, and he struggled with the urge to crush her tiny form with his arm. That would get him in a lot of trouble, more than he could cope with. He was many things, but he wasn't a psychopath, although he had been told he was shaping up that way. The thought was... interesting.

Psychology was one of Rio's main interests, and while he had often wondered he psychopath's minds worked, he had never really thought of it from his own point of view. He could see the attraction in it, now he thought about it. And sometimes he hadn't noticed how far he'd gone. Did murderers do that? Did they keep going until they went over the line, unwittingly? Or did they all know what they were doing, all the time? No, he decided, it was probably a mix of the two. And he wasn't, whatever they said about him.